Posts filed under 'Family'
Our digital camera has a “movie mode” on it, and we’re finally getting around to putting it to good use.
Here’s Anna in her first movie, cooing, giggling, and really trying to smile. The major Hollywood studios are still in a bidding war over this one, but “Anna vs. Pooh” will probably be released in widespread distribution later in the summer.
Enjoy.
Note: Grandpa Sam brought it to our attention that this movie will not play with QuickTime version 6. You must download version 7 in order to view this. QuickTime is a free download - you do not need QuickTime Pro (which is the version that costs you money).
April 30th, 2006
It’s been a while since our last posting. Anna is now just over six weeks old. I think it’s safe to say it’s been both the longest and the shortest six weeks of our lives. We’ve been pretty frantic. Work is picking back up for me, and Tara’s been feeling better herself, and enjoying her time with Anna. And if April was frantic, then May will be doubly so: We’re planning on taking a trip out to Kansas, my brother and his wife will visit, I’ve a corporate retreat, I’ll be out in New York state at my buddy Sten’s wedding, and we’ll be working to finalize some child care for the wee one before Tara heads back to work part-time in June.
Anna’s doing just great. She’s healthy, happy, and almost ready to smile — something that will make her parents enormously happy (those giant cheeks have been giving her trouble, we think!). We’ve posted some new pictures in the usual spot, including dad’s new favorite.
April 30th, 2006
Anna was one month old yesterday evening. It is incredibly hard for me to believe that so much time has past. I suppose it is probably normal, but I’m having a difficult time remembering life PA (pre-Anna). Currently almost everything I do during the day revolves around taking care of this cute little being! What did I do before? (work, laundry, dishes, to name a few of the things that I used to do but do not do now!)
Anna is growing like a weed! She’s pretty much able to hold her head up on her own, but we still have bouts of the floppy-newborn head. At her 2-week check-up she was 22 inches in length. We were shocked to find out that her cousin Henry is only 24 inches and he’s over 4 months old! As Neal likes to joke, we’re in contact with WNBA recruiters already. I’m anxious to see how much she’s grown by the time we go in for her next doctor’s appointment. One month old brings us to the point where most of her newborn clothing no longer fits! Her 0-3 month clothing just fits and in some cases is getting a little snug. Time for me to go shopping. And for those of you who know me, this is a daunting task.
I’m finally feeling better - not 100%, but decidedly better than before. I have a doctor’s visit coming in the next couple of weeks and hopefully my iron levels will have returned to normal. It is tough being tired and weak all the time - especially with a newborn that doesn’t yet sleep through the night! I think another part of the “feeling better” has to do with my comfort level with Anna. That’s not to say that I understand why she freaks out sometimes and screams bloody murder, but I do understand that those noises she makes while sleeping aren’t anything to worry about, and that the scrunched up face she makes usually indicates that a diaper change is in my future. I guess you could say we’re getting to know one another.
Max is looking skinny these days. We think it is the stress - that or he’s just shedding his winter coat. I like to think it is the latter. He’s supremely interested in Anna and enjoys sniffing her head and car-carrier, but when she starts crying he seeks out quiet hiding places in the basement. He’s certainly missing all the attention he used to get and has begun acting like a small child who misbehaves only to have someone pay attention to him. I often feel like a broken record when it comes to Max - “no, no, no.” We have one chair that will never be the same because he’s taken to scratching the crap out of it - especially in our presence. Luckily the weather is warming up so that we can take Max outside on his lead. This tends to calm the savage beast (actually it wears him out what with all the birds to watch and grass to eat).
So as you can see, life here at the Enssle/Hess house is going well. We’re all a little sleep-deprived (including Max), but enjoying ourselves. Hopefully we’ll have some new pictures soon. I need to upload them from the camera.
April 13th, 2006
(As one of his uncles, I was honored to be able to speak at Ben Steadman’s memorial service yesterday. I’ve posted my remembrances of Ben below. A PDF version is available for download. – Neal)
Once upon a time, in a land not too far away, there lived a little boy named Ben. Ben was a smart and sensitive and charming little boy who loved puppies and dinosaurs and Legos and guinea pigs. Ben lived with his family in a big, colorful house, with lots of stairs and windows and hiding-places, and he had his own room upstairs with lots of toys and pictures of puppies and a light-up rocket ship on the wall. He was a happy little boy who loved to ride his scooter, play with his sister on the jungle-gym his dad had built out in the backyard, and run around and throw the ball for his little poodle, Peaches.
Ben loved his family. Ben’s dad was the biggest and strongest and smartest daddy Ben could imagine, and Ben was happy that his dad was always there to play with him and hold him and protect him when Ben got a little scared. Ben’s mom was soft and beautiful and even smarter than his dad. She knew all kinds of things about animals and plants and dinosaurs and trucks, and Ben loved the songs his mom sang to him when he went to sleep at night. Ben knew that other kids had mommies and daddies, but he thought that he had the best mommy and daddy in the world.
Ben also loved his little sister. Ben had lots of friends but she was his very best friend, even though she was his little sister. Ben loved to laugh and play and chase his sister, and sometimes they would wrestle, but not too rough because she was only little. Even though she was only just a little girl, Ben thought his sister was always very brave. He remembered how one time she was even brave enough to touch a spider with her hand, and another time she petted a giant millipede that was crawling across the floor. Ben liked doing things with his sister, and always wanted to share everything with her.
Ben had lots of friends in his neighborhood. He knew lots of grown-ups, too. His favorite grown-ups were his grandparents. He loved all his grandparents because they knew lots of things about cars and trucks and flowers and always had time to play with him and his sister and let them eat as much ice cream and cookies as they wanted too, but also broccoli because that was Ben’s favorite food next to chocolate.
Ben also loved his grown-up aunts and uncles who always wanted to play with him. Most of the time Ben didn’t like monsters in his house. But it was okay if the monsters were uncles, because then it was fun to run away from them and protect his sister from them, because the monsters were just playing, and really they were only just his uncles anyway. The best thing about seeing his aunts and uncles was when his cousins would come over to play, because they knew how to play best, especially when they played dress-up, or danced, or helped his uncle light sparklers on the Fourth of July.
One day, around the time of his sixth birthday, which was his favorite birthday because he was finally six, Ben didn’t feel quite right. He didn’t know why but he seemed to bump into the walls a little more often, and he needed two hands on the railing to go up the stairs. His mom and dad took him to see some doctors, which was fun but also a little scary. They told him that the doctors said he had a tumor inside his head and that the tumor was making it hard for him to run and play with his sister. But they told him not to worry, and that the doctors were going to do some things to try and make the tumor smaller so that Ben could run and play again and not need two hands on the railing.
After his treatments at the hospital, which weren’t really too bad and everyone said he did a good job but all he did was lay super quiet on the bed really, his mom and dad told him that he could have a wish, and that he could have or do anything he wanted. Ben thought of all the things in the world that he wanted and decided that the very best thing would be a squirt gun to shoot his sister with. Everyone laughed and said that he could have as many squirt guns as he wanted and that he should think of something else, something bigger. Ben thought hard and after a long time he decided he would like to go to the zoo and feed the elephants, which were the biggest things he could think of next to dinosaurs which he knew didn’t exist anymore. His mom and dad smiled and said that was a good wish, and they hugged him and cried a little, which Ben didn’t completely understand.
Ben had a fantastic time at a giant party his school had thrown for him with pizza and spaghetti and ice cream and all his friends and a real band with songs that were sometimes too loud, and he was thrilled to have been made an honorary police officer with a real badge and everything. It was neat to see all his friends from school dancing and playing with his sister, though he still felt a little tired at times. And he had a great time on his trip to Legoland and the zoo in California with all his cousins and the rest of his family, and it was fun and a little scary when he got to feed the elephants.
But he was starting to feel funny again, and once more felt like he needed two hands on the rail to get up the stairs to his room. His mom and dad took him back to see the doctors. They hugged him and told him that the tumor in his head was back again and that he might need to do some more treatments. But Ben was okay with this because although he didn’t like the tumor at all, he remembered how he liked the watermelon-flavored gas the doctors gave him before he went to sleep, and afterward he really liked waking up in the Finding Nemo room too.
* * *
I will always treasure a memory from our family’s Christmas party last year of Ben walking to the table with an entire heaping plate full of broccoli, which he proudly announced was his favorite food. I ask you: How many parents can claim broccoli as one of their children’s favorite foods? Ben and Madie have grown up in the company of devoted, loving parents and family. On the family blog recently, Dean wrote of the importance of “just being dad”. As a new father myself, I am only beginning to learn what the other parents in this room already know: that “just being dad” or “just being mom” is perhaps the greatest challenge of our lives, the most difficult and most rewarding task we will ever undertake. Yet faced with this challenge, Dean and Melinda have excelled beyond measure. Full of patience and perspective, quick to laugh and overflowing with love, I have watched them raise Ben and Madie to be the kind of happy, confident, sensitive, and intelligent people that other people naturally want to be around, that other children follow, and other adults admire.
At one point, at the hospital, when he was first diagnosed, Ben told his mom and dad that he was “a leader in his family”. Hard to forget are the moments when children speak in grown-up voices. At times somewhat shy, I nevertheless I like to think that at that moment, and in his own way, Ben was aware of the challenges that lay ahead of him and his family, and knew that there would be times in the coming days and weeks when he would have to stand in front, to walk ahead, with his family and friends following behind him. I like to think that somehow Ben knew and accepted that he was walking faster down the road that all of us must eventually travel, and that he knew that he now had a lesson to share with all of us about patience, and courage, and accepting the challenges that life puts in front of us with dignity, compassion, and with as much laughter and love as we can muster.
In the last weeks of his life, Ben made frequent requests for Chinese food. I think it took a little while for us to realize that it wasn’t the beef with broccoli, but rather the fortune cookies that Ben was most interested in. Of course, every six-year old likes cookies, but we soon learned that Ben was just as interested in the fortunes as the cookies. Like little treasures, Ben would keep every fortune from every cookie. He told us once that he could give the fortunes away, too, “to people who needed them”. I don’t know if Ben found hope or reassurance for himself in the brief glimpses of the future that those fortune cookies provided. But I do know I that I am grateful for having had the opportunity to know such a kind, sensitive, loving little boy who tried his best to save those treasures, to store up those little bits of hope, and who cared enough to share that hope with anyone who needed it.
Ben’s last days came quickly. He passed from this world without pain, surrounded by his family, in the arms of his mother and father who adored him beyond measure. He was born during an eclipse and he died during an eclipse. That the sun itself was willing to stand aside and make way for both the arrival and the passing away of Ben’s light should tell us something of the kind of spirit he possessed. God has called home one of his own.
And his little sister will forever have an angel watching over her.
April 5th, 2006
Tara’s mother Debbie left for Kansas on Saturday, and we already miss her. She spent three full weeks here in Colorado helping us prepare for and then deal with Anna’s arrival. Without her help our house would be (more of) a disaster, and we probably would have starved without her delicious cooking.
We love her dearly and know that we couldn’t have done it without her. Thanks Mom!
(And yes, we’ve posted new photos!)
April 3rd, 2006
Our nephew Ben Steadman passed away peacefully this morning in the arms of his mother and father, a little after 7:00am. At six years old he was one of the most sensitive, charming, and courageous people I’ve ever had the chance to know.
We’ll be spending time with our family over the next few days. We’ll post information about the memorial service as soon as we know more.
Update: A memorial service and reception for Ben will be held at First Evangelical Lutheran Church in Longmont on Tuesday, April 4th at 2:00pm in the afternoon. The viewing starts at 12:30pm. All are welcome. Please check here or on the Steadman family blog for more detailed information in the coming days.
Update: Dean posted details about the memorial service.
March 29th, 2006
Yesterday morning Dean called me to say that things looked pretty bad for Ben, and that we should consider coming over soon to say goodbye. Before we could get ourselves moving, however, my aunt Peg called to say that the nurses thought things were a little too hectic at the house and that all the congregated family were going to leave to give Ben and Dean and Melinda some peace — could they come over and hang out at our house?
We were sorry to not be able to see Ben, but happy to be able to open our doors and provide a refuge for my aunt and my cousins. We had some lunch and talked a little about our fears for Ben and his parents. But after a few hours with no news folks decided to retire to their own homes, to their own personal waiting.
Debbie had promised to make a pot roast for Dean and Melinda, and later in the evening I took the food over to their house, unannounced. They welcomed me into their darkened livingroom where Ben and some of the rest of the family were lying on the couch, everyone listening to the silence and warmth.
Ben lay quiet and motionless, asleep. I hugged Dean, and kissed Ben on the cheek with a whispered goodbye to a boy who’s taught us so much about courage in the short time he’s been with us.
We will miss you Ben.
March 29th, 2006
I just heard from my cousin Dean about twenty minutes ago. For the past few days our nephew Ben’s been extremely tired, has had terrible, unrelenting headaches, and hasn’t been able to keep food down. The went to the hospital yesterday and have learned that Ben’s tumor has grown by more than 50% in the last three weeks. The doctors have told them to start planning in terms of days, not weeks.
Ben’s home again now, and Hospice will be starting to make regular visits to ensure that Ben’s in as little pain as possible.
Here’s an excerpt from Dean in the Steadman’s blog:
We’re preparing Ben and Madie with the information that they need to face the events to come. I have no idea exactly what that means, but I know in my heart that Ben will be free from his cancer and pain. I have faith in an existence beyond our understanding and find comfort with Ben knowing more about it than I do. I am blessed to have had this time to learn from him.
I still don’t understand how this could happen to such a wonderful family. Ben, Madie, Dean, and Melinda — you are all in our prayers.
March 27th, 2006
My mom and dad came down to visit us yesterday to celebrate my dad’s 67th birthday! Debbie baked an outstanding Boston creme pie (or is it cake?), and we all helped make one of my dad’s favorite meals: schnitzel, potato salad, red cabbage, and asparagus. There are some good photos that I just posted to a new birthday photo album.
March 25th, 2006
We’ve received so many gifts of flowers from family and friends over the past few days that our home seems like a veritable greenhouse. Thanks to everyone for the beatiful flowers and your kind thoughts and words. They really do lift our spirits!
March 23rd, 2006
The local newspaper and a Denver television station have both done great stories on our nephew Ben. Visit the Steadman’s site for links to the newspaper story and the television coverage of Ben’s “unbirthday” party at Chuck E. Cheese’s.
March 23rd, 2006
Little Anna is one week old today! She had her first doctor’s visit since leaving the hospital, and she’s been given a clean bill of health. She’s gaining weight (she’s up to a whopping 7 lbs. 10 oz. after having dropped to 7 lbs. 7 oz. upon her departure from the hospital), and the jaundice has been declared a non-issue. So she’s a healthy kid!
Tara got a checkup too, and the doctor agrees that the headache is most likely related to her anemia. More iron, more water, and more rest should do the trick over the next few days.
March 22nd, 2006
I’ve posted a few more photos of wee Anna. Check out the photos page where she’s got her very own album.
And everyone’s doing well. Anna’s been sleeping and eating well, and her jaundice seems to be clearing up nicely. She’ll go for her first doctor’s visit tomorrow, so watch for an update sometime thereafter.
Tara’s doing better too. Her headache is almost gone and so she’s feeling better about life in general. It’s hard when bending over to pick up your baby makes you woozy, but I think she’s over the worst of it.
March 21st, 2006
Actually, it’s not that bad, really. It’s just a little tough getting used to sleeping in 2 to 3 hour blocks, in between feedings (Mom’s job) and diaper changes (Dad’s job).
Anna’s doing very well. She started off with a little jaundice, but it looks like that’s starting to clear up all on its own. Her head was also very sore initially from the whole birthing ordeal, but that’s looking better with every passing hour. She’s nursing well, sleeping lots, and pooping with adequate frequency. (Sorry, but I guess it’s things like that that you start obsessing about when you’re a dad). Overall, she seems like a fairly content little kid so far — though naturally we’re waiting for the other shoe to drop!
Tara’s doing well also. We spent Saturday night back in the hospital emergency room because by that point Tara had had a splitting headache for more than 48 hours straight. We left with no clear diagnosis beyond probable dehydration and anemia, so she’s been slamming the iron supplements and drinking gallons of water. Right now she’s avoiding the Percocet they gave us, for obvious reasons. Things seem to be getting better, but even so the pain hasn’t cleared up entirely, so we’ll be paying close attention.
Max seems a little nervous, and maybe even a little depressed, but he’s generally handling the invasion well. Meanwhile, Grandma Debbie’s been doing a bang-up job of helping us through all this — cooking, cleaning, and offering some great advice and perspective on the situation.
More photos to come soon!
March 20th, 2006
I just posted a few photos of Anna that we took at the hospital. We just got home about an hour or so ago, so there will be more to come.
Anna and Tara are both healthy and doing very well.
We love you our chubby little chipmunk!
March 17th, 2006
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