Waiting
March 29th, 2006
Yesterday morning Dean called me to say that things looked pretty bad for Ben, and that we should consider coming over soon to say goodbye. Before we could get ourselves moving, however, my aunt Peg called to say that the nurses thought things were a little too hectic at the house and that all the congregated family were going to leave to give Ben and Dean and Melinda some peace — could they come over and hang out at our house?
We were sorry to not be able to see Ben, but happy to be able to open our doors and provide a refuge for my aunt and my cousins. We had some lunch and talked a little about our fears for Ben and his parents. But after a few hours with no news folks decided to retire to their own homes, to their own personal waiting.
Debbie had promised to make a pot roast for Dean and Melinda, and later in the evening I took the food over to their house, unannounced. They welcomed me into their darkened livingroom where Ben and some of the rest of the family were lying on the couch, everyone listening to the silence and warmth.
Ben lay quiet and motionless, asleep. I hugged Dean, and kissed Ben on the cheek with a whispered goodbye to a boy who’s taught us so much about courage in the short time he’s been with us.
We will miss you Ben.
4 Comments Add your own
1. Jake | March 29th, 2006 at 8:13 am
This entire saga is positively heart-wrenching.
There are no words on this Earth for a stranger such as myself to express my feelings and thoughts when faced with this reality.
My sympathy and support go out to Ben, the Steadmans, and their entire extended family.
2. Broz | March 29th, 2006 at 8:53 am
Well said, Jake. I hope Ben and family remain strong and comfortable during this most difficult time.
3. Neal | March 29th, 2006 at 8:00 pm
Thanks guys. The past couple of weeks have really been an emotional rollercoaster for all of us. The death of someone so young, and so very loved has been exceedingly difficult for everyone in the family. And amidst the darkness of Ben’s passing little Anna has been such a bright light, though not without her own share of associated emotional turmoil. Indeed, fear and joy have struggled equally in our hearts for several long days, and we are all fairly exhausted as a result. The words of encouragement help.
4. Shantell Gutierrez | March 31st, 2006 at 5:42 pm
Neal…I found your blog looking for pictures of Ben. I am so glad that you and your family have been here for Dean Melinda, Ben and Madie. I consider them all as family, and have so wanted to help. It is nice to know that he has had such a great family, that his friends help wasn’t needed. On a side note…your newest addition to the family is positively breath taking, I look forward to meeting her one day.
Shan
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